A rectangular plate of grey, alien metal, precisely the size of your phone, 100% the thickness of a 1mm mouse pad, a portal to higher dimensions, punched with lines of alien code…
It had all been pretty serious till then. Then I said something like, aka along the lines of: "Yeah, we've got something like that – had it – back in the day, as they say. Hahaha! [IN] [AND] [OUT] . . . # . Pretty inefficient, if you ask me! Hahaha! [IN] [AND] [OUT] . . . # . State of the art, at the time, of course. We've got some crazy, crazy juice now!"
Hahaha! Didn't know about the whole "portal to higher dimensions" thing back then. Kind of a n00b when it came to the whole "We have summoned you with this device in order to… in order to…" business. Head to the store to order your very own, 100% unique, generated-by-aliens-just-for-you contact card: [TODAY] . . . . . . allowing contact with your base from any with the appropriate [IN] [AND] [OUT] equipment.
And – aaaand… – while you're not waiting for instant delivery via chute port / waiting ten minutes for your mini cloud, why not check out some sample output (see below)? and/or read the FAQ (rhymes with "snack" btw).
While the quality of the following cards is very high (if not their output!), discerning seekers may also enjoy the premium, warp-exhausted cards available through the store.
Guaranteed < 1,000 words per card (plus remnant code).
We know that attention spans are getting shorter, and we respect that, with our brevity, our efficiency. Just the overall goddamn effectiveness of plate insertion.