[ — ]


. . .


You are a priest. Do not be afraid! In Pyramid of Purity, this doesn't make you a religious freak, or whatever. Ha! A bringer of Light, or whatever. Yawn… Though certainly, you can be that. In the "real" world, too, if you wish.


Is there even a difference… you are thinking, standing in line for your pumpkin spice latte, thinking too:

That character creation was shit tier, yo!


"Love it!"

What's that… a vibration in the rear of these… whoa, pretty damn cool, actually! pants, super-tight leather. Nice!

[DEVICE] : hacker_child here. what's up, leathered-up priest dude? turns out you didn't pick a shitty robe from the [shitty robe 1] [shitty robe 2] selection. there are others of your kind, outside. pay no attention to the freak at the front of the line. it is the entity abseenus, in a native form. it is dormant, currently, but still releasing some mindfuck juice. check the sleeve of your latte…

"The usual?"

"The… usual?"

Abseenus or whatever striding by, in a huff.

Did he just pat my butt??

"Pumpkin spice latte, on the house. Had it ready for you, gotta say. Preferred introductory beverage of 97.9343% of novices. Your 'friend' there played it cool. Went for the cappuccino. Coconut no less! Getting a little ahead of yourself there, bud!"


"But… I'm straight."

"Makes no difference to me!"

That's what I chose, right? Sure… A checkbox, or something. Thought that shit was "against the law"! or whatever.

"Makes no difference to the character selection screen. I've added some extra spice btw ;) If there's one thing I've learned in all these years of serving you leather fuckers…"

0.nine-seven-9-three-43 : .buttered_toast;

The nodecode!

But wait… isn't that meant to come later?

Like, much later?

not for you, apparently. congrats! commiserations? shame on you for looking stuff up! just kidding… hard to resist. but know this: the more you look up, the less you'll know. you can type shit on the sleeve btw.


hacker_child. barista. many names. one pair of very sharp scissors by that milk alternative carton. i suggest a dramatic leap over the counter – extra xp – kick the spice chick in the face, on the way – aim between the eyes, for the third eye, it'll set her back, she'll survive the scissors – grab the scissors, stab them all! – enjoy it! – cut the code off the sleeve, slip it in your butt pocket, hook up with abseenus and the other novices outside. enjoy the bike! don't worry, it's not "real". you're not "really" killing anyone.



. . .