[ — ]


Do you love to make Love? Do you love coffee and tight leather? Do you love that incredible ass from Sugar… while being respectful of its owner? Do you have a "weird" name or some other "disadvantage" which drove you online as a child, where, over time, you discovered deeper truths and brought them back with you to the physical world, creating a healing bridge between the realms, elevating your consciousness and facilitating interdimensional transport even without drugs (though perhaps you've also dabbled in said… ;)?

Are you hard, yet soft?

Vogenomic could be the place for you.

Have you 100% forgotten about GRUEL, receiving a mini madness-free evaluation at your last three checkups?

Vogenomic welcomes you! A genetic test is offered for free to all new employees, backed by an industry-leading support structure for Level 5 variants.

Do you want to change the world! Worlds!

"Yes, yes I do! Fuck me, I'm inspired! A moment ago, I was thinking, 'Huh? Dafuq? What about us hooded robe types!' But then you mentioned that ass… and I knew that even if I showed up for work in a hooded robe, I'd be accepted at Vogenomic, even if I arrived still blasted out of my mind from last night's Bring the Light gathering on the roof of Ham Sandwiches R US, acting like a freak, in the finest tradition of the malodorous Godseeker at leathered-up lick parties. AWESOME! Plus: Vogenomic has industry-leading food and snacks, including the ever-popular Vanilla Emission ice cream with chocolate stars / mini turds machine outside the bathroom on every floor. YUM! Next-next-gen+++ machines, devices all over the place! WOW! Take me home, alien parents!"

Junior Code Apprentice Assistant Rank -1

. . .


Quest Designer

. . .



. . .


Vogenomicist 4.0

[BRAIN 1] : Did you know that POP developer Vogenomic was originally an online guide for explorers of higher dimensions created by n-Vogen Barnes – son of the scientists who discovered the 9-Vogen molecule – following a craaazy semi-legal psychedelic trip on the roof of the psychology department at Tetrahedron University, before pivoting to gaming after Roderick College creative writing sub-professor Tony Zoderbund (of the Vodernach Zoderbunds) emailed the site re the crapload of non-standard forms and poor navigation, which combined to sometimes drive him to the brink of insanity, leading him to question the truth of his shell, to wonder whether he might, in fact, be an alien in disguise, struggling to digest this native medium? I showed the site to my students to see if they, too, would feel unlike themselves, the press of this madness (cleared with their parents first, of course, most of whom agreed, some of whom nodded, almost imperceptibly, at the alien-in-disguise stuff; an unusually smooth-skinned mother asked to meet me that night in a deserted warehouse, but I declined), or if it was just me. They had no idea wtf the site was going on about. They just clicked stuff and started laughing, like some sort of game. Hours later, they were still clicking, tapping, but more slowly, deliberately, and they were no longer laughing. They came to class the next day not having slept, ate, they looked like shit, they were dribbling. It was the best class of the year! with some incredible abstract poetry. I recall, in particular, Karen's Para'meesh IV

[BRAINS 2, 3] : Are you up-to-date with the latest research on the purely theoretical 10-Vogen molecule, whose non-existence exploded the Barneses, with some groundbreaking ideas on how to realise it in the physical plane and integrate it into a next-next-gen+++ gaming experience, a lift-off of the Pyramid into an interdimensional portal mesh, working title: Pyramid of Purity: No Leather Left Behind?

[BRAIN 4] : Did you know that Vogenomic is the world's second-largest publicly traded gaming company, with highly promising medium- and long-term growth curves shaped like that feeling you get following the first and second bites of a trashy, but oh-so-delicious ham sandwich on squishy white with a thick layer of butter?

Did you answer "Yup", "Uh-huh", or "Fuck yeah, those four brains with a mini cluster really get me, that's how I think about everything, a quadripartite approach combining historical, scientific/computer-scientific and economics-with-a-dash-of-ham elements" to the above?

If so, you may have the four-way brain required of a Vogenomicist 4.0, an exciting new position for a multidimensional individual who dreams of having an office with four doors – [1] . [2][3] . [4] – each leading to a meeting room devoted to one of the matters, with an interdimensional bouncer plate behind your desk – Bounce! Bounce! – to be used for lunch, taking a dump, going home occasionally, etc.

Since you will, frankly, be working your bipartite ass off, toning it to Sugar quality as you move from room to room, meeting with the Senior AIC Tour Guide = Lick (Centre #103) in Room 1; our esteemed leader n-Vogen Barnes in Room 2, with occasional visits from holographic representations of his dead parents; dev "bitch" hacker_child in Room 3; a representative from Ham Sandwiches R US in Room 4; and bringing all of your brains to each of the brains, your unique metaperspective enhancing the efficiency of the entire company and taking your ass to the next level (and potentially reincarnating the Barneses).

Do you have the brains for it? The ass for it? Slip your application under Door 0.nine-seven-9-three-43…


Healing Bridge Specialist

. . .


Senior AIC Tour Guide = Lick (Centre #103)

Abseenus is many things, dark and light, with many forms, across dimensions. It is God. It is a god. It is a coconut cappuccinist at the front of the line. It is a slice of buttered toast morphing into a ham sandwich on squishy white. It was, back in the day, n-Vogen himself. Or 10-Vogen itself? 11? AIEEEEEEEEE!!!

And so: the Abseenus Information Centre, born at the Pyramid's core, nodecode zero, is a shifting design, it never looks quite right, and so: is always right, black and white, clear. Having been white, exclusively, at one time, black for another. Never clear. And always: the AIC coffee shop has been known for its toast, the intensity of its brew.

There are those who say the whole point of the centre isn't touring historical displays; isn't smiling at the children experiencing the interdimensional bouncer plate for the first time; isn't the gift shop, with the ever-popular "Abseenus = Huh??" T-shirt; but is the toast, the brew, black as Abseenus, white-as-Abseenus whipped cream = lick.

Take a sip, take a shit. Return to your table. The toast will be there, still warm. And the cream: equals lick. You never left. And the turd just went… somewhere.

Such is the magic of the Abseenus Information Centre, both in-game and IRL. Settings screen. And the cream. And a v5 Shniff implant with TurdIgnore attachment.

For yes, reflecting the multidimensionality of its subject, the AIC has always existed in both the virtual and physical realms, and in many realms within those realms, with many bridges, healing and otherwise, down many streets, in many malls, and so: it has required a special purity from its guides. A senior guide was very high and went travelling into… somewhere.

We're sure she's safe :)

Abseenus is wise. Abseenus is the devil. Abseenus is that incredible ass from Sugar.




As Senior AIC Tour Guide = Lick (Centre #103), you will have licked Abseenus, down to the Vogen. You will have attained Superb! status with the Cult of Abseenus, then lost it all after "killing" Abseenus in Dreams of Abseenus. You will have touched the Pyramid's tip at least twice, and offered blood. You will live no further than a ten-minute hoverboard ride / ten-second hookup from AIC 103, that you may respond quickly to the latest round of blocked tubes, the latest v4 TurdIgnore breakdown. You will be black. White. You will be comfortable in your skin, that you will make a naked art, a cultish dance across the net, to lighted clones, pixel clones, welcome guests, hear them chant:

Abseenus is wise. Abseenus is the devil. Abseenus is that incredible ass from Sugar.