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Pyramid of Purity

Massively multiplayer online "game" from the creators of GRUEL and Roderick.

Use Love, drugs and technology to ascend the Pyramid, stopping along the way to recruit others to your priesthood, to eventually take your place as a beloved spiritual leader, with the power to fly, turn invisible, and just generally do whatever the fuck you want. Close your eyes and arise in other worlds – other galaxies! Simply smile at your barista and it's free. I do see they have written their nodecode on the sleeve, yum…

Quest 1: Nodecode

Ah yes… delicious. I have ascended the Pyramid and am at the peak of my powers. The peak of the world! Worlds! I know this is a game, that I am not "really" here. But still… this coconut cappuccino is off the charts! Let me flow into the street and see who wishes to look at me, yes…

What's that? No… But this is beyond charming! An ancient nodecode upon the sleeve. An invitation to a twenty-year-old party. Oh, the charm!

I return to the barista.

"…not sure what you mean…"

"…there's a line here, bud…"

"Excuse me? I do not stand in lines!"

"HAHAHA!!"

^

The team

"Love it! And you're saying we can change the barista's gender?"

"Gender. Sexual urge. Plenty of shit. Got some pretty cool AI processing crap going on, even during character creation."

"Nice… nice… btw: maybe tone down the profanity? It's cool in-game. Part of the brand! But I think we need to be more… nice in here, right? More… spiritual, dare I say? This thing's gonna be huge! We're gonna grow the team. Let's make this a welcoming environment for all genders, sexual urges, etc. Also: related: let's try to avoid any skeletons in the closet for offended journalists to latch on to later and take us down, okay? Let's keep it pure!"

"Uh-huh. Sure."

Wait… wasn't hacker_child a male entity a moment ago, and for all the moments since I've known him… her… since we were children and her name was…

9-VOGEN

9-VOGEN

.

"1-Voggen—"

"1-Vogen. O. Gn. As in 'Oh yes, you can bet your lardalicious provost ass we're gonna be rocking the boat with these experiments, assuming the funding is there, we have no doubt the university will profit eventually, not sure how exactly right now, but this thing is powerful, wow!'," said the professors, together. Smiling, for they knew they were bonded for all time by this molecule.

.

"Great :) So Tony, remind me, the nodecode is there? Or it isn't there?"

"It's there. But… it isn't there. I am piercing the veil and I see that we are pretending to have a meeting. I see that you speak through your eyes and that your name is Abseenus."

"Huh??"

"Dammit! I mean… Sorry. Been playing too much POP! It's this kinda game thing—"

"This kinda game thing… that we're designing? :)"

"Oh yeah… Right! Jesus, this thing's off the charts! Or it will be in a few… months? Years? Jesus! There's a lot to do."

"It's okay, Tony! Relax. Maybe spend some time with the Roderick patch, the craaazy, wildly popular puzzle game for mobile devices which, while its own thing, also serves as an abstract testing ground for some of the narratives you're bringing to POP. And yes, there's a lot to do, but POP's a long way away. We're set for funding for the next decade. Thanks, Shniff! We'll probably have created another game by the time we release it. Something involving… Love, perhaps. Yes… Love. Capital L! Sorry, Tony! I know it's not strictly 'correct' :)"

"No, it's cool! I like it! Let's bring it to that game we're thinking of making— I mean, that we are making. Already made? Fuck! I mean…"

":))) And yes, hacker_child, I know talking about Love makes me a 'fucking pussy' or whatever. But whatever! Also: btw, Tony: I've noticed we're not italicising POP, whether in text, or in our speech. Wait…"

^

System requirements

Tony and hacker_child sit in silence (they can't stand each other tbh, and this tension will prove vital to POP's early development; but they will come to know a great Love and give birth to a virtual child) while n-Vogen hits the bathroom, to explode through both his holes, having experienced his first piercing of the veil, turning him quite grey, moist. He will stare into the mirror after considerable wipings, sprays, and he will nod, say, "Yes, this it. No… hacker_child was never a dude. I think… But yes! there was that thing with the italics. I am n-Vogen. Thanks, brilliant parents! But truly… I have always respected your decision to name me after your most important series of experiments, even through the bullying, the mockery. The respect, eventually, first from the bohemian crowd, then my fellow graduate students in the psychology department of Tetrahedron University after that first group trip, where we witnessed – nay, became! – the 9-Vogen molecule. I have never felt more certain about both the entertainment value and spiritual significance of this 'game'. Abseenus will be whatever it is! There is nothing to fear. There is only fun! Interdimensional adventure. There is only— HNNGGHHHH!!!"

The first – and only – requirement (apart from the latest version of geminOS, which runs on pretty much anything), it will soon be decided, is that new players of Pyramid of Purity will fast for at least six hours prior to entering the world for the first time. Vogenomic will not be liable for the destruction of your keyboard should you break this rule. The introduction of the VR edition will lengthen this period to nine hours. The movement of the headset to the brain via Shniff implant will shorten it to eight, with v1, eventually attaining "consume a heavily spiced sausage during character creation, if you so desire, your curtains are safe" status with v6, the effective merging of the real and virtual worlds which will quadruple the price of keyboard artefacts and signal the arrival of some pretty interesting beings with a thing for boiled meat.

Otherwise, use whatever the fuck you want! A phone, supercomputer. A toaster. A nine-roll hot dog grill with warming drawer, for your buns. Shniff Cloud takes care of the heavy lifting.

An open mind is advised, but not required. (But do try not to be too offended by tight leather and that priest(ess) with the incredible ass who starts Quest 3. (Hardly a spoiler! The ass is well known, even at the highest levels of government… ;))

^