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GEMINOS / Store

In the mundane, current-gen world of our "competitors", a physical store stocks a limited supply, while its online counterpart provides access to everything, if with a time delay as things are built and delivered.

(Also: while touching demo products is encouraged offline, one should keep one's fingers away from the specialists.)

In Shniff Land, it works a little different. Our physical stores – over a thousand across the globe, sites selected based on patterns from the Orb, each serving as a node, interconnected, and repositioned, occasionally, as our knowledge of the artefact increases – provide immediate access to everything blessed by Shniff, of our own design and our alien-approved partners, powered by what we call our "magical back rooms". Our specialists will bring you whatever you desire, whether expressed in words, or thought, determined by you, or their own insight. We guarantee you'll be pleased. Almost certainly, you will feel an urge to touch your specialist. Please do so. They've been trained by an alien First Contact manual to welcome your excitement.

Our selection is more limited online, if still exciting. There is a back room, of a sort, the code powering this site, but it is, necessarily, native text, and so: we can only offer so much tech, lest your browser becomes overwhelmed and explodes your device. Even branded Shniff. And you will be covered in – if you'll pardon – shit, with our "competitors".

Shniffit will save the day. For while the selection will stay the same for current-gen browsers, the interdimensional view will open windows to the Orb. To its patterns, the magical back rooms. Things will just appear. In your kitchen, home office. Your bedroom.

Feel free to become your own specialist…

Phone-type device

Is it a phone? A device?

Answer: both.

Think about it…

A 5-inch screen? 6-inch screen? A screen as large as an ocean! ALL OF THE ABOVE!!

Think about it.

Think:

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Computer thing

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Smart juicer

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Implant installation

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Genetic test

Lick your way to alienotic variance and an interdimensional name with our complimentary genetic test. Proudly display your name with our gorgeous selection of interdimensional name tags in a variety of woods, metals, etc.

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Interdimensional name tag

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Commemorative invitation to the non-wedding of Zohan Pahsh and X Verexus

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ORB Programming Manual

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